Posted in Uncategorized

Yoo Hoo, Anybody Home?

Care-Worker Tips: For When your Client Doesn’t Answer the Door

SIGNS THAT SOMETHING COULD BE AMISS:

1.  Blinds down in the middle of the day.

2.  A barking and very annoyed-sounding dog.

3.  Client’s car (if they still drive) is in the driveway / is not in the driveway

4. An over-flowing letterbox.

DING, DONG….. are you there, Mr Botherwell?

These would be the winning top four indicators that tell me, as a visiting Carer on the job, that there may be something awry when I arrive for a shift at the home of an older person.  Inevitably, one or all of these ‘clues’ will mean my Client has either gone out, is in bed, or possibly laying injured on the floor hoping that someone, OH PLEASE GOD… will find them.

Perhaps from a medical emergency, or more commonly – they’ve had a nasty FALL. 

A jam-packed letterbox I am immediately suspicious of.  Especially if there is distinct and varying shades of weathered-ness on the junk-mail spilling out of it.  Goodness knows how many days it’s been piling up for (or why the postie insists on stuffing more in???). 

In my experience, this says ‘nobody is looking out for me; I am all alone’ and it’s never a good sign.

That, or my Client has been whisked away by an enthusiastic son or daughter for family jollies at the beach house and, what with the excitement of it all… nobody thought to call and cancel mum’s scheduled shifts.  A more common occurrence over the festive season or public holidays, this one.

Similarly, an unrestrained Maltipoo with a demented look in it’s eye, doing cartwheels across the furniture and yapping its head off as you buzz the doorbell, can be of great concern too.  If ‘mum’ was OK and had been poised waiting for her Home Carer’s visit as normal, she would’ve already bellowed “OH SHUT UP, MOLLY!” and had him tethered to the leg of the kitchen table by now. 

A typical Mad-Molly-Poo!

Observing blinds that are down or curtains tightly drawn still in ‘night time’ mode when it’s well past lunchtime-o’clock, doesn’t send me much of a positive vibe either.  A creature of habit Mr Bill Cornfoot, he should be sitting in his lounge room armchair munching a cheese sandwich, half watching TV, half doing the crossword at this time of day.

Why isn’t he calling out for me to come straight in like he usually does? 

And why is his door LOCKED???

Ah, yes… waiting for a Senior to arrive at their front door can be a worrisome few moments for a travelling Care-worker.  And tempting though it is to roll your eyes and say “Oh god, where’s he gone this time?”  You know in reality, that there is every conceivable possibility that something untoward may have happened to your beloved Client.

The more likely scenario though, is that they have merely forgotten what day it is and have instead gone out.  Doctor’s appointments, to the shops for groceries, getting their hair done, a day at the races, or been taken by friends to play the pokies at the RSL… we hear it all.

And that’s fine.  As long as we KNOW.

I have several repeat offender Clients in this category who despite having had their Home Help service scheduled at the EXACT same time, on the EXACT same day, every week for the last two years, they continue their pattern of being frequently absent on service day.

Arrrggggh the frustration!  So then we play the waiting game…

Because bound by a Duty of Care policy, as a paid Carer I am obliged to take appropriate and timely action when a Client fails to present at the door to ensure they are found safe ‘n’ sound and free from harm.

The key word here being:  FOUND.

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THE ART OF DOOR-KNOCKING

But before launching the official Sea-to-Air search & rescue mission, it’s important to give your aged Client a fair amount of time to respond to your initial knock.  Followed by a calculated and respectful waiting period (depending on their general state of health and / or their mobility speed), before you go leaning on doorbells or knocking more loudly-er for the second, third or one hundredth time.

Some people can become exceptionally aggravated if they feel pressured into hurrying unnecessarily – so use your discretion. One buzz only, then wait… count to to 20 or whatever it takes before you start ding-donging away furiously.

Remember the reason you are there.  And that it’s not about YOU getting to your lunch break on time – keep your composure and STAY COOL!

(Futile when they aren’t home of course, but as a process of elimination it has to be done).

Mrs Smith?
Mrs Smith?
Mrs Smith?

And while some Clients with gazelle-like reflexes are capable of appearing within seconds (they’ve been glued to the window since breakfast in anticipation of your arrival) other movement-compromised Seniors can take many minutes to complete the long, pain-staking trip up the hallway to their front door. 

Handy if you know this because you visit them regularly, but hard to juggle waiting time-frames if you’re meeting a brand new Client for the very FIRST time.  You don’t want to appear rude or impatient by knocking or ringing continuously, yet you also hope your Client has heard the doorbell and is at least on their way. 

More often than not though, you’ll find the more slower-paced folk will either call out that they are coming, or for you to “Come in, dear” which solves the problem, saves you time and puts everyone’s minds at ease immediately. 

Lovely.

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KEY SAFES

Some of my more frail Clients, however, can be SO delicate or unwell (you actually wonder how they manage living alone) that their families conveniently arrange for a key-safe to be affixed outside the front door somewhere, perhaps attached to a step railing or post.

This brilliant contraption requires a secret code number to open it before: Hey Presto!  It pops open to reveal a key hiding snug inside for you, as their Carer, to let yourself in.

Word from the wise here:  Make sure you knock first before you stride on in.  And also call out to announce your arrival.  You don’t want your unsuspecting client, in mid-doze, dying of fright as you suddenly appear with your bucket and mop from behind the sofa!

Oh, and make sure you PUT THE KEY BACK in the safe for other Carers who might need to get in after you’ve been and gone.  The havoc you can create if you forget this can be totally disruptive and cause all sorts of headaches.

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STALK YOUR CLIENT

Once you’ve done the acceptable amount of knocking and ringing, and you still haven’t had a response, there are windows you can peer through, and gently tap upon, as well. 

Move stealthily around the outer rim of the house, calling out their name and rat-a-tat-tatting as you go, just on the off-chance that your Client is in another room, in the shower, or maybe just finishing up important business in the bathroom… no presh!

Or perhaps they haven’t got their hearing aids in?

Or they’re yakking on the phone?

Or they’re having a bit of a zzzz after a poor night’s sleep?

A nosy neighbour can save the day
……OH, I KNOWWWWW

Keep knocking and also check out in the back yard and garage areas too, if you can access them.  I once had a Client whose life revolved completely around her magnificent garden so I knew I’d always find her out back in her wide-brimmed hat digging away in the veggie patch… head down, bum up!

Sometimes too, at this nomadic point, you’ll find a neighbour can often lean over the fence and offer you THEIR five bobs worth on where they think your Client is (or isn’t). 

“Oh I saw the ambulance there early this morning.  Mary’s daughter said she may’ve had a heart attack so I think they’ve taken her in for some tests.”

Although not to be taken as gospel, you at least know that something serious has happened which explains why your dear Client is not going to be home no matter how furiously you knock. At this point, you’d report in to the office and let them take them wheel.

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HELP!  I’VE FALLEN OVER!

The other less desirable scenario, is discovering your Client on the ground from having an incident such as a Fall.  As unpleasant as this thought is, it is very much a reality considering the age and the state of health of the older adults you are dealing with. 

I once found dear Mr Jeffery Bonecracker out by his clothesline one afternoon after he’d tripped over the peg basket and gone for a tumble.  Although he swore he was fine and ‘please don’t make a fuss, Dollie’, turns out he had a shattered hip, a dislocated shoulder and required two months in hospital (throw in a further six weeks in Rehab).

FUSS?!  Very glad I chose to ignore Jeff’s plea and immediately called emergency services for a whole ambulance-load of fuss! 

Note:  Never hesitate in calling for an ambulance if you feel it’s warranted.  Better safe than sorry – you don’t want the alternative on your conscience.

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PASS THE BUCK

So once you’ve explored all the accessible surroundings of your Client’s property (and checked under the clothesline) and you STILL haven’t made contact, it’s time to officially launch into plan B: Ring your office.  

Here is the typical procedure a Care Co-Ordinator or Administrator might follow when they receive a report from a Support Worker out in the field with a Client who has not responded:

STEP 1: Phone the Client’s Phone directly:

Fortunately, nine times out of ten, success is often achieved at this point because although your Client may not hear a Support Worker banging, ringing and hollering like a crazed loon at the front door – the sound of their home phone ringing seems to grab attention fairly smartly!

STEP 2: Ring the Rellies:

Failing that, and there is still no response from within the Client’s residence… the office will then call any Next of Kin/Emergency Contacts listed on file in the hope that somebody somewhere may know where your absent Senior is today.

Often, in all the fervour of a better offer, some Clients just downright forget to notify their care provider that they won’t be home today and to please cancel service.  Annoying, but understandable and as we all know in life – stuff happens.

STEP 3: Call the Police:

Last resort – Mr Plod to the rescue!

Finally, the last ditch effort in pin-pointing the whereabouts of your missing Senior is to bring in The Law.  Meaning yes, the Police are informed and a Welfare Check is systematically conducted by them at your Client’s home to ascertain if they are in there or not.  If that means breaking down the door then SO BE IT!

I remember one day not being able to locate my client Mrs Doreen Appelblatt… to pick her up and take her for her regular weekly one hour of shopping.  I’d felt quite concerned at the time when she didn’t answer her door as she had complained only the week before of experiencing dizzy spells and ‘feeling a bit off’ recently. 

The office too, had exhausted all avenues of contact but had managed to locate Doreen’s daughter Ellie who had also become quite anxious.  So much so, that she had jumped in the car and driven the hour long trip to Doreen’s house to see for herself where mum was.

“I rang and reminded her last night that Dollie was coming today to take her shopping – she should be home!”  

Oh god, what if she was on the floor, had slipped in the shower, passed-out and unconscious in the bathroom?  Perhaps she’d banged her head on the dresser and was slowly bleeding to death after crawling on hand ‘n’ knee trying to haul herself to the phone? 

As peppy and alert as Doreen usually seemed, she was 88 years old and had had medical mishaps in the past. Perhaps her number was up and she now lay slumped in a chair from suffering a life-threatening INTRA-CEREBRAL BRAIN ANEURYSM???

(Honestly, the things that fly through your mind!)

But then… as we waited nervously in a clump on the porch for the Police to arrive, Ellie and neighbour Jim (who’d kindly sent out a search party of his own via his Canary Club peeps) watched as a taxi roared round the corner and pulled into Doreen’s driveway.  

In disbelief we looked on, as four high-spirited ladies wearing matching blouses piled out of the car, all yakking at once and juggling handbags with platefuls of cookies and sponge cake.

“Pop the hood, if you would kind Sir!” sang Doreen, oblivious to everything except extracting an enormous gold trophy from the boot of the cab.

I remember daughter Ellie looking relieved, as were we all… but at the same time she was fuming that her absent-minded mother had missed yet another valuable council-provided service, wasted everyone’s time and caused a whole lot of bother.  Not to mention having the nice police officers in on the act, too!

Apparently winning the tuesday morning Senior Ladies’ ten-pin bowling ’round-robin’ just wasn’t going to cut it this time.

“Oh, MUMMMM!!!”

STEEEE-RRRRRIKE !!!

HAPPY CARING!

Cheers,
Dollie

Posted in Society, Working with Elderly

A Bank Account of Memories

“Happiness depends on how you arrange your mind!”

Here’s a lovely story that just randomly popped into my Inbox today.  I thought it just too hard to resist so I’m sharing it on here because it’s so gosh darn sweet. PLUS it includes a piccy of a very lick-able ice-cream WIN-WIN!

Hopefully it makes you smile, offers a bit of perspective and then gets you thinking about priorities you might like to re-evaluate within your own life.

And that maybe life’s too short for all the silly stuff?

At the very least, it will leave you wishing you looked as fabulous in a hat, as this beautiful lady.

ENJOY!

Insightful – and LICKY!

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she was legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. 

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. 

“Oh, I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. 

“Mrs Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.” 

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. 

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.” 

She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories. 

Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.” 

Then smiling the whole time, she asked me to remember the five simple rules to being happy: 

  • Free your heart from hatred. 
  • Free your mind from worries. 
  • Live simply. 
  • Give more. 
  • Expect less.

And you know she’s right. Reminds me of a great saying I heard once: Being HAPPY is not a pursuit – it’s an obligation.

Now outta my way – I’m off to find ice-cream!

HAPPY CARING!

Cheers,
Dollie
Posted in Aged Care, Exercise, Mobility

Letting Lettie Do It!

ACTIVE AGEING: Helping Older Adults, Help Themselves

Every day, our delightful neighbour Lettie-from-over-the-road, walks outside her front door, slowly down the steps and across the driveway to collect her newspaper from wherever it has landed on her front lawn.  It’s usually in the same spot every morning, give or take, depending if the delivery boy gets his projectile right and doesn’t instead end up riding his bike into the bushes!

(Three years on, you’d think he’d have this sorted by now).

On her way back towards the house, with mission accomplished and with paper stuffed purposefully under the wing of her arm, Lettie then likes to pause and glance over the neighbourhood.  She pretends to pick a bit of dead something off the Hydrangea bush at the bottom of her steps, then ambles cautiously back inside to (most likely) put her feet up from a job well done.

But it’s just painstaking to see!

Please come back, Grandma!

Nearing 94-years old, living alone and with seriously swollen ankles from kidney disease, ‘a bit of the diabetes’ and being almost totally blind thanks to advanced macular degeneration, Lettie has slowed down significantly in the last couple of years.

We know this because we have quite literally witnessed the progressive decline in Lettie’s mobility thanks to our lounge room windows facing directly opposite hers.

Needless to say, you can pretty much set your clock to Lettie’s daily paper pick-up ritual.  Unfolding before us almost like a big-screen movie, we get to watch all Lettie’s comings and goings – as she does ours. Which is actually kind of nice being that it offers a warm fuzzy familiar feeling to let you know all is right with the world.

But that doesn’t make it any easier to watch!

“Once I’ve had my weeties and taken all my tablets, it’s time to do the morning dash!”

Ummm, less of a DASH… more of an action replay stuck in serious slow-motion?!  Thankfully, Lettie enjoys joking that it takes her sooooo long and that tomorrow morning she’s thinking about packing a picnic lunch and making a day of it.

“I’ve got all day – may’s well take a cream bun and enjoy myself at the half-way mark!”

You want it?
COME GET IT!

Awkwardly steering her wheelie-walker to the top step, our hearts are in our mouths as her front wheels teeter close to the edge. Applying the brakes, just in the nick of time, Lettie then grapples her way down the steps in lunging fashion, by means of the metal railing installed by her family a few years back.

She then shuffles… barely lifting her puffy, slippered feet… across the driveway to the edge of the lawn where she then stops, statue-still with hands on hips, to peer at the grassy expanse before her.

Eventually, depending on the angle of the sun and the landing position of the newspaper on any given day, Lettie is usually able to perceive enough colour contrast to make approximate visual contact with her printed prize.

Ah yes! There’s actual science involved, don’t you know?

However… if the paper has made touch-down on the driveway instead of the lawn, poor legally-blind Lettie has NO CHANCE of finding it!  

As I guilefully explain to my pre-teen son, the grey-ness of the concrete doesn’t make the off-white coloured newspaper ‘pop’ like the bright green-ness of the grass does.

Lettie then ambles her way across the lawn and upon reaching her quest, snap-bends in half to scoop up the cellophane-sealed roll in a one-motion move. Turning stiffly, she then pauses to gaze at the street around her (more to have a rest than to actually ‘look’ at anything), before tottering her way back onto the driveway, then slowwwwwwly on towards the front steps.

It can be a good 20 minutes by the time Lettie has hauled herself up the steps to the security of her wheelie-walker at the front door, during which time I have hung out a load of washing, ironed the school uniforms, yelled at the kids and fed the cat!

My enthralled son can stand watching this senior’s snail-paced performance NO LONGER.

“Geez! Can’t we just go pick it up for her, Mum?” 

“Oh no, absolutely NOT, my child!” 

Then, chuffed that I get to impart my Aged-Carer’s industry knowledge on somebody (anybody will do) I then proceed to explain that as long as Lettie is able to collect her newspaper for herself – then let her, WE MUST.

And that regardless of Lettie’s diminished eyesight and her age-related health issues, it was important for Lettie, if she wanted to remain living independently in her own house, that she be able to do boring household chores such as this…  

… for herself.

I also knew, from conversations with her daughter Sue, that Lettie had very little other physical activity going on in her day.  Sue, therefore, felt it crucial that her mother be encouraged to continue this one daily routine, this one small piece of exertion, in order to keep blood flowing, muscles moving, her mind stimulated and hopefully result in a much better quality of life for Lettie all round.

In the meantime, Lettie gets to exist alone at home feeling good about herself; to know she’s maintaining independence, her self-respect and the satisfaction that she still (mostly) have control over her own future.

And that’s a really super important thing when you’re an elderly person, as I explained to my son (who oddly, has always been quite fascinated with Lettie’s activities).

“But what does she want a paper for anyway… I thought she was BLIND????”

I remember at the time staring blankly at Junior aware that with this last line of inquiry, he had actually stated the ‘blindingly’ obvious.  And as the wave of realisation washed over me… I thought it might be a good idea to give Sue a call for a bit of a chat.

“Nobody likes a smarty-pants, darling.  Go let the cat out!”

Move it – OR LOSE IT!

HAPPY CARING!

Cheers, Dollie
Posted in Aged Care, Working with Elderly

10 Tips for Meeting an Older Adult at their Home for the First Time

An Aged-Care Worker’s Guide

Knocking on the front door of a newly-assigned elderly person’s home for that very first time is always an anxious few seconds, but understandably even more nerve-racking if you are a newbie to this ‘caregiver’ caper.

In fact, I recall many years ago the day of my first shift ever… standing at the top of the steps, staring at a stranger’s doorbell (of someone I would shortly be helping undress for their shower) and wondering if it was not too late to turn and run for the hills!

  • What if they don’t like me?
  • What if I run out of time?
  • WHAT IF I DO IT WRONG?!?!
Ding, DONG!
Anyone home?

I remember, too, thinking how I hadn’t really been forewarned on the reality of what to expect when arriving at a sceptical senior’s house for our first meeting.  I knew that I needed to be confident and professional in order to gain trust, but it turned out to be instinct I relied on to provide my client with a warm friendly vibe, that put them at ease.  I wanted them to know that not only was I was good at my job, but that I was a genuinely kind, empathetic person – and that I CARED too!

Luckily for me, my first client was the most adorably grateful, yet desperately frail gent who didn’t give a toot that I was the new kid on the block.  He was just so relieved to have me there.  

Which I guess at the end of the day is what it’s actually all about… THEM.

And NOT me.

So, I thought it might be helpful to list some essential, yet often over-looked pointers, to ensure the initial meet ‘n’ greet with your new client is as successful as it can possibly be. That brief, but impressionable moment where you get to reveal your amazing self and to plant the seed for a future mutually beneficial and respectful working relationship.  

Beware the twitching curtains…

1.   SMILE!

Appearing at your client’s door with the cheeriest, beaming-est face you can muster, will often be enough to knock the wind out of a potentially grumpy or resentful elder’s sails.  

Include a hearty ‘smile’ in your voice as well, which should nip any bad temper in the bud before they’ve had a chance to remember what they were cross about in the first place! 

Trust me, it works a treat – and what have you got to lose?  

2.   Use formal address – ALWAYS

Make a promise to yourself as an accomplished carer, to always use your client’s official title – especially for that initial intro:

“Hello, Mrs Picklehead, how are you today?

Older generations were bought up believing that this is the ultimate sign of respect – and it’s never to be messed with. If you are unsure of their marital status (you will come across the odd hard-nut spinster out there who’s never married and who will soon let you know if you dare to assume she’s a Missus) –  in this case, it’s best to opt for the full name approach:

“Good morning… Marjorie Jackhammer, is it?”

And as daunting as it may seem, you should always attempt to pronounce your client’s surname, regardless of how tricky it might look on paper.  That’s including the culturally curly ones that contain just about every letter in the alphabet – including all five vowels TWICE.

I will never forget standing outside Mrs Gina Kantezkantopituolos’s door in a cold sweat at the thought of insulting her by ballsing up her name and having her hate me forever.  She actually confided in me later that she’d appreciated me having a try (as feeble as it was) because others never even bothered.  For that reason, she’d eventually become known as ‘Mrs K’ just to save a fuss.

“For efficiency’s sake”, she’d always say.

Ultimately, ‘Gina’ and I got on so famously she insisted I call her by her first name anyway.  Phew…problem solved.

And who are you, Dear?

3.   Introduce yourself  

You’ll discover as you become more experienced and worldly, that some of your more dependant or unwell clients may have a whole army of carers, case workers, nurses, health professionals, specialists and home support people coming and going on any given day of the week – and sometimes ALL AT ONCE. 

So to avoid confusion or client embarrassment it is vital that you clearly state your name, rank and serial number when you meet for the first time.  That is before you launch into your work.  

Also, say where you are from and what you intend to do to them!  

There is nothing worse than arriving with your bucket and mop to do a domestic cleaning duty only to discover your client has since stripped off down to her petticoat in anticipation of having her wound dressing changed by whom she thought was the District Nurse instead.  

Not that that’s ever happened to me. 

No! Not at all, she said.

4. Confirm that your client UNDERSTANDS you

This is not as silly as it sounds.  And an accomplished careworker can determine a lot about someone who appears to be hard of hearing or can’t comprehend what is happening (and has no idea what you are babbling on about.)  

You’ve got several logical explanations:

  • your client is hearing impaired (the logical and most common one)
  • your client is from a non-English speaking background
  • your client is sick
  • your client is cranky and in a very, very, very bad mood (is it too late to run away?)

The answer for all of these situations is to slow your speech down, maintain eye contact and modify your voice and tone accordingly. You can find out later on (when you are friends) what the real story is. 

Use hand actions if you need to – and don’t be afraid to YELL.  I can spend entire days bellowing at elderly clients who have deafness issues only to get home at the end of the day and continue the trend with my family… haha lucky them!

HELLO? WHAT?

5.   Compliment your Client

One of the best bits of never-fail advice I can offer all budding carers (or for anyone trying to be accepted by someone new) is that you need to find something about your new client to compliment them on.  

Something. Annnything.

It could be that the buttons on their cardigan are sweet, you just love the colour of their blouse, they’re wearing a pretty-coloured lipstick or they’ve had a haircut and are looking exceptionally spruced-up.  

Or… if you’re really struggling to find something nice to say about your client, then admire the lovely photo of their grandchildren, the enormous ceramic vase in the lounge room, the beautifully manicured lawn or the fabulous blooms on the Camelia bush.

Whatever, doesn’t matter.  

Most mature-agers feel proud and pleased with themselves when they are told they have something that others might appreciate or find attractive.  It has huge impact and lets them know their contributions are still valued and more importantly – that they are people, too!  

And it’s a superb way to break the ice and show that you at least seem interested in them. Who knows, you might even CARE for goodness sake.

Wow, look at the pink on YOU!

6.   Acknowledge your Client’s Spouse

As an observant caregiver, it’s important to be aware that your new client may live with a husband, wife (or other family member such as a partner, son, daughter, niece etc). These onlookers can offer valuable insight on the person whom you may be about to help shower or spend time with in, say, a Respite capacity while their regular family caregiver has some time away from the house.

It is in your best interests, therefore, to butter-up these people and get them ‘on side’. They have a whole plethora of useful information about their parent, grandparent or great-aunty Doris which will make your job significantly smoother if you take heed of it; information that you won’t find on the Care Plan or in the medical notes.

For example:

When you take Uncle Reg on his walk to the library… he loves going via the paddock so he can say hello to the horses.  He needs to stick to this routine or he will get quite upset and then we will ALL pay later tonight!

Mum only likes using the pink towels… never the green ones as they were (deceased) Dad’s towels and she will get upset if you try and use them during her shower.

Little stuff like that, but it’s important stuff. And it’s stuff that will help you develop a good healthy rapport and eventually, a trusting relationship with your client AND with their live-in family.

7.   Acknowledge Pets

A mistrustful senior will literally GLOW when you show interest in their animals and I can guarantee you, without hesitation… they will instantly adore any visiting carer who does this.  

I’ve broken down many a barrier by patting the mangiest of dogs, admired weepy-eyed cats and even whistled at the odd tatty budgie in its cage. 

Fake it til you make it, don’t they say? It’s definitely worth it in the end, so do whatever it takes to gain your elder’s approval.

Rub the tummy of flea-bitten Ol’ Yella and say something silly to the cat – you’ll win over the confidence of your brand new judgemental client… and you can disinfect yourself in the car later!

Freckles moved in over an hour, Mrs Tittlemouse

8.   LISTEN to your Client

Every brilliant aged-careworker knows that communication is what it’s all about. 
Speaking yes, but possibly more importantly:  LISTENING.

So when you’ve rattled off your initial intro, make sure you take the time to hear what your new client has to say in response.  And if their speech is slow or they are struggling to get words out (for whatever reason) DON’T be tempted to talk over them or pre-empt their sentences. Show patience and be respectful in what they are telling you.  Be open-minded and NEVER make judgement. 

Sounds a bit like the Ten Commandments really…Thou shalt not pass judgement on thine old lady client! 

Let’s face it; most of this is common sense.  

Isn’t it?

9.   ASSESS

An astute and qualified carer should be able to evaluate a lot about their new ageing client in that initial meeting at the door. Body language, the way they talk, their hearing and vision, their coordination and mobility – all can reveal potential physical health problems, mental conditions or emotional issues. 

And all are clues that are handy for you to be aware of even before you’ve entered their home.

Take note of bloodshot or droopy eyes, the condition and colour of their skin, breathlessness, disorientation or confusion, complaints of pain and weakness can all mean something is not right and as their carer you will need to investigate further.  If only to pass it on by reporting your observations to a supervisor for follow-up which may then lead to further assessment or review.

Unfortunately, not only can you hear and see signs, but you can smell them too.

Take note of cigarette smoke, gas, alcohol, rotting food odours (ick) or stinky human excrement smells (double ick) … these are just a few indications of the way your beloved senior lives and that there may or may not be serious health problems afoot.

Been on the gin, Mr Slusher?

10.  You’re In!

Well done! Superb job!

You’ve passed the probing and interrogation stage and your shiny new client has allowed you to enter their world.

It’s now up to you to maintain your exemplary high standard of caring and strong positive work ethic. Enjoy getting to know your most-recent companion, but remain vigilant and remember there are professional boundaries. And don’t be tempted to cut corners – because it will most definitely bite you on the bum later.

Remember your integrity, listen to your inner voice… and feel pride in being able to provide a service to people who need your support to stay living in their own homes. And who on the most part, are actually very, very, very pleased to see you.

Happy Caring!

Cheers, Dollie
Posted in Aged Care, Working with Elderly

To Bidet, or Not to Bidet?

That, is the Toileting Question!

I came across this curious magazine advertisement whilst sitting bored on a plane recently. It caught my eye for two reasons:

  • 1.   I’d only just written an article about the ‘Worst Xmas Gifts Ever’, and…
  • 2.   Why was this cheery, yet smug-looking woman in beige slacks STANDING ON A TOILET???

The Best Xmas Gift Ever!!

“Usually for Christmas, my children buy me towels or pillows or once even a
basket for the cat. Last year, after a wonderful lunch in the park with my family,
we came home and I found that for a Christmas gift my son had organised
the replacement of my old toilet seat with an electronic Bidet toilet seat. 
I had seen them advertised on TV and thought what a great idea.”
After two weeks of having my new Bidet, I wondered how I had ever survived
previously without it.
All I have to do is sit down on my nice warm seat and go to the loo. Once I am
finished I simply press a button and I get a warm water rush and a stream
of warm air dry.
Now almost a year later, it has changed my life. I have saved a fortune 
in toilet paper and, I see going to the toilet as a time of luxury. 
It is the best Christmas gift I have ever received!”
– Sylvia Ross –

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Upon reading the ad, I discovered that delighted ‘Sylvia’, is actually the proud owner (and operator) of a shiny new Bidet-style toilet seat attachment, secretly installed by her son as a surprise for Christmas.

That is, NOT an advert for your traditional (and kinda terrifying) stand-alone bidet.

Ahh no. 

Instead, Sylvia gleefully introduces us to the wondrous Electronic Bidet Toilet Seat! A magical two-in-one appliance that means upon completing her regular toileting ablutions, Sylvia gets to be luxuriously “warm water washed” and then blissfully“air-dried”. 

And without having to budge! Can you even imagine?

I later showed the mag clipping to my own mother just out of interest. Similar in vintage to Sylvia, it was interesting to hear Mum’s views on the whole BIDET topic. From the perspective of someone who, much like most of us who find those ‘odd-shaped water fountain thingies’ usually found only in hotels totally intimidating, she admitted that if she had to use a bidet – she really wouldn’t know where to start.

“It’s more of an upper-class European thing, isn’t it… or is it something the prostitutes in Amsterdam use?”

“My friend from bowls has a bidet – but she washes her Chihuahua in it.”

“I’d be scared it might explode… gosh, I could end up giving myself some sort of a nasty enema!”

What a bidet is NOT for!

All silliness aside, I did start thinking that perhaps Sylvia was ON to something (literally). And the more I thought about it, the more it seemed there were definite advantages to be had by a sensitive Senior considering enhancing their current loo to include a shiny new automatic built-in bidet. 

Interestingly, (but a bit odd) I discovered later after a bit of research, that the word Bidet comes from the French meaning ‘small horse’.

Oh, so you strap yourself on and ride it like a pony?”

Yep, thanks Mum.

And that apparently, it was the Japanese who first invented the modern integrated ‘toilet-bidet’ as a nifty space-saving device. Without need of a plumber, it is supposedly simple to install and something an older person (or obliging family member) could manage without too much fuss.  

Merely replacing the current tatty old dunny seat with a fabulous whizz-bang electric one. Easy peasy… botty-squeezy! 

Being suitably impressed by this snazzy new bathroom gadget (and without sounding like I have shares in the company), I have since started singing the praises of these electronic bidet toilet seats (aka EBTS) to some of my elderly clients. 

Especially for those suffering from never-ending incontinence or constipation episodes; or pesky mobility issues due to frail, weakened bones and stiff arthritic joints. I reckon it would be hard not to appreciate the enormous potential health benefits an all-in-one EBTS might provide.   Not to mention for those in their twilight years being more financially set to ‘splash out’ (ahem) and spoil themselves on a nice bit of luxury during their retirement.

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8 fab reasons to get an EBTS installed at your parent’s (or your) house :

1.   You can do your ‘business’, then clean-up, dry-up all in one hit… in one SIT? 

2.   You can stay safe.  Not having to go ‘up down’ twice from a toilet to a separate bidet means less chance of a skate on slippery tiles.

3.   Personal hygiene is improved and more effective due to not having to awkwardly reach around to wipe. Tender, sore and ‘ouchy’ bottoms can stay cleaner – and heal faster.

4.   No hands required. Mission complete – without having to touch your rude bits!

5.   Issues such as constipation can be eased (eased out?) by caressing streams of warm water directed in all the right places.

6.   You can feel ‘shower fresh’ using an EBTS without having to fully strip off and endure the physical ordeal of an actual shower.

7.   There is less dependence on caregivers – which means preserving one’s self-confidence (and dignity).

8.   The warm-air dryer of the EBTS means those with ‘greenie’ tendencies can feel most satisfied that they’re saving “shit-loads” on toilet paper – HOORAY FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!

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To summarise: Wouldn’t it be nice to offer the beloved in your life a tiny bit of toileting opulence in their golden years? Not to mention a toasty warm bum in winter.

It’s time to let dear old Mum know just how much you appreciate her and that because she is so special (much like Smug Sylvia) she absolutely deserves to have… THE BEST BIDET-TOILET SEAT IN THE HOUSE!

At least he’s using it correctly…. WOOF?

HAPPY CARING!

Cheers, Dollie